6 Ways to Practice Body Neutrality
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If the idea of loving your body has always seemed a little bit out of reach, you’re not alone. In recent years, the body positivity movement has made way for a less appearance-focused, more neutral form of body-image healing.
On the surface, body neutrality is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of striving for body love, the goal is to go through life without strong feelings (good or bad) about how your body looks. It’s a popular concept among mental health experts, who see it as a healthier and more realistic approach to body image.
Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality
“While body positivity is intended to celebrate all bodies, it’s still mainly focused on how the body looks,” says Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed therapist in Los Angeles. On the other hand, “body neutrality works to decenter how the body appears,” she says, so that physical appearance is no longer the focus.
“The advantage of body neutrality over body positivity is that as a tool it is not as heavy an emotional burden to carry,” Lurie explains. It can feel like a constant battle to develop loving feelings toward your own appearance when there are so many external factors — like our culture’s fixation on thinness, and the high prevalence of weight stigma (discrimination based on weight and body size) — telling you that your body isn’t okay. Lurie sees body neutrality as a way to opt out of that battle and instead focus on other aspects of your life.
RELATED: What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?
Although body neutrality may be more accessible than body positivity, it still takes some work to let go of strong negative feelings about how you look. Here are some ways to start practicing body neutrality.
1. Stop Body Checking
A great start is to simply pay less attention to your appearance, says Brit Guerin, a licensed mental health counselor and co-founder of Current Wellness in Raleigh, North Carolina. Guerin, who specializes in anxiety, disordered eating, disordered exercise, and trauma, suggests removing full-length mirrors from your home for a time, or choosing not to look in the mirror when you get dressed in the morning.
Stop other forms of body checking, as well. Don’t analyze your reflection in windows as you walk by, and stop pulling and prodding at certain body parts (like grabbing your stomach rolls or running your hands over your hips).
2. Wear Clothes That Fit
Guerin recommends choosing clothing based on comfort. When we wear clothes that don’t fit or don’t feel comfortable, we draw our attention to our body (or parts of it). If your waistband is cutting into your stomach, that physical feeling of discomfort will have you thinking about your stomach all day.
Don’t hold onto clothes that make you think a lot about your body size, either. If you use certain items of clothing to measure your body size — for example, assessing the fit of a tight dress or a snug pair of jeans on any given day — it’s best to get rid of them.
3. Appreciate All the Things Your Body Can Do
One of the most talked about ways to move toward body neutrality is to focus on what your body can do rather than what it looks like. Lurie says that this doesn’t have to be about physical strength or ability, which aren’t accessible to everyone. She recommends tuning in to how various organs and body parts work to keep us alive and active: “How our eyelashes keep dust out of our eyes, how our intestines allow us to digest our food and extract what we need, and how our bodies can cool themselves by sweating when we are warm,” she says.
4. Stop ‘Exercising’ and Start Moving
Guerin, who is also a certified personal trainer, recommends engaging in physical activity that’s fun, instead of doing workouts that feel punishing. Because fitness culture is so intertwined with weight loss and other aesthetic body goals, it can be hard to engage in structured workouts without thinking about these things. This is particularly true if you’ve used exercise in the past as a way to change how your body looks.
Instead, find ways of moving that truly feel fun. This really depends on your preferences and your ability level, but some things to try might be trampolining, dancing, roller-skating, or playing frisbee.
5. Make Room for Negative Feelings About Your Body
Ultimately, the goal of body neutrality is to let go of strong feelings about how you look. But this likely will take some time, and that’s okay. “If you feel shame or discomfort about your body, don’t feel pressured to just say positive things about it or suppress those negative feelings,” Lurie says. Instead, acknowledge the negative feeling and let it dissipate. It might be helpful to visualize the feeling as a cloud passing overhead; watch it pass, then watch it float away as you move on to the next thought or task.
6. Think Beyond Yourself
Body image healing is difficult because we’ve spent our whole lives absorbing messages that our bodies aren’t good enough. “If one has experienced body negativity, or has been critical of their bodies for not looking ‘right’ for some time, it may be a very gradual shift [toward body neutrality],” Lurie says.
Plus, changing your mindset about your own body is only one piece of the body acceptance puzzle. People in marginalized bodies (fat, disabled, queer, transgender, nonwhite, and more) face real discrimination on the basis of their appearance, and simply improving your own body image won’t change this. Instead of focusing only on yourself, think about small steps you could take to help make the world around you a safer and more accepting place for all bodies. That might mean fighting for more wheelchair accessibility in your community, speaking out against weight stigma in healthcare, or advocating for more weight-neutral health curriculums in schools.
No matter how you choose to start your body neutrality journey, remember that the goal isn’t body love. Rather, the objective is to live your life without letting your body and appearance be a main focus.
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