7 Tips for a Healthy Body Image Before, During, and After Weight Loss
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Kelly Coffey learned from a young age that her larger body was not a problem — it was the problem. As such, she believed, losing weight was the solution.
“I assumed being thin was the magic bullet that would transform everything about me,” says Coffey, who grew up in the 1980s, well before body positivity, fat activism, and Health at Every Size philosophies were mainstream.
But after losing more than half her body weight through weight loss surgery in her twenties, Coffey experienced only a short-term mood boost. She still had a poor self-image and self-soothed with junk food and cigarettes. Two years later, she’d regained more than half the weight she lost after surgery.
It wasn’t until Coffey found healthier coping mechanisms (like weight lifting) that she developed a healthy body image. She no longer weighs herself, but she’s been around the same size for about 20 years.
“In treating my body with respect and love, I became someone who had a truly uniformly positive self-image,” says Coffey, now an ACSM-certified personal trainer in Northampton, Massachusetts.
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Rather, it’s related to your relationships, health behaviors, mental health, identity, and other factors, says Charlotte Markey, PhD, a health psychologist at Rutgers University in Camden, New Jersey, who researches eating behaviors and body image. “Body image goes beyond the superficial,” she says. “It’s how comfortable are you in your own skin.”
How Weight Loss Can Change Your Body Image
Weight and body image are related for many individuals — often in complicated, unique, and surprising ways.
A short-term boost makes sense because attempting and making an effort to do something that you think will be good for you (and succeeding) feels good and worthwhile, says Dr. Markey, who co-edited the book Body Positive: Understanding and Improving Body Image in Science and Practice, which compiles research on the topic.
Plus, you’re likely to get external validation from a society that reveres and bestows privileges on smaller bodies.
But those feelings tend to be moderate and can wane over time.
“I wouldn’t say no one feels better after weight loss, but I think the extent to which it might impact body image is oversold,” Markey says. ”People sometimes feel let down by this myth of transformation.”
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People can also be disappointed after weight loss if, for instance, they’re left with sagging skin, a sunken-looking face, and decreased muscle mass, says Jenna Hollenstein, RDN, an anti-diet dietitian and certified intuitive eating counselor in Mamaroneck, New York.
Other times, a weight loss journey can leave people wanting more and dissatisfied with where they are when it comes to body image. “Some people think, I just need to lose a few more pounds, exercise more, do more cosmetic surgery, or laser this or tighten that,” Hollenstein says. “It becomes a very slippery slope. There’s this addictionlike thinking that the thing that’s going to be the thing is right around the corner, and it never is.”
Even if people love how they look and feel after weight loss, they may feel uncomfortable with newfound attention and question what people thought of them before their transformation.
“What we’re looking for [when it comes to having a healthy body image] is unconditional love,” Hollenstein says. Attracting admiration only after weight loss can signal that that love is conditional on body size.
Losing weight can also drum up unwanted emotions due to its effects on hormones and other biological processes. “When you’re creating a deficit, your body is in a stressed state, which can increase depression, anxiety, and fixation on food,” Hollenstein adds.
7 Tips to Help You Maintain a Healthy Body Image Before, During, and After Weight Loss
What can you do to support a positive body image and manage uncomfortable emotions before, during, and after weight loss?
Here are some tips:
1. Focus on Behaviors, Not Outcomes
At the end of the day, you can only do so much to change your body’s shape and size. That’s why focusing on actions (like choosing more nourishing foods and switching to a standing desk), not outcomes (like wanting to lose 20 pounds), is key for your self-image.
“If you struggle with negative body image, doing whatever you can do to take actions that make you feel good about what your body is doing is the quickest route to improving your body image,” Coffey says. “That’s true whether those actions result in weight loss or not.”
2. Train Yourself to Notice What Feels Good
When Coffey’s clients are having a tough time with their body image, she encourages them to think about a recent time they felt good — not how they think their body looks. For example: “After I go for a walk or lift weights or swim, my body feels wonderful, and I feel grounded and breathe a little deeper.”
While it takes practice to shift your thinking, focusing on the pleasure derived from a healthy behavior primes you to want to do it again,” says Coffey, who offers a free online workshop that helps people improve their relationship with food and themselves.
3. Celebrate What Your Body Can Do
Focusing on what your body can do, rather than how it looks, can support a healthy body image, Markey says.
4. Practice Self-Care
“Practice getting enough sleep, eating adequately, and doing things that bring you pleasure,” Hollenstein says. No matter where you are on your weight loss journey, recognizing and honoring what your body needs is a way to practice having a healthy body image.
Put another way: It’s easier to like yourself if you take care of yourself.
5. Cultivate a Body-Positive Community
It’s normal to have body image challenges — you can thank a culture that has historically celebrated thinness and a narrow view of beauty for that.
“Part of the work is pulling away from the messages we’ve received over the years about what our body should look like,” says Jodi Rubin, LCSW, a certified eating disorder specialist in New York City.
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Distance yourself from negative people in real life, too. “If you’re spending time with people who have a horrible self-image, that language is going to stick,” Coffey says.
6. Understand That Your Body Is Always Changing
Even if you’re not trying to lose weight, your body does and will change through various life stages as you age, develop different relationships and interests, become a parent, go through menopause, and more.
“Every few years, you should count on something changing,” Markey says. And that can be a tough reality to accept when there are so many messages in pop culture and across social media about “getting your body back” and “maintaining.”
But accepting that change is normal, natural, and expected can help you maintain a healthy body image through it all.
RELATED: What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?
7. Seek Help
Any weight loss journey is a mental and emotional one, as much as a physical one. Seeking mental health support can be critical to both your weight loss and body image success.
RELATED: Why a Therapist Should Be on Your Weight Loss Support Team
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