Sex, Health, and Aging: Let’s Talk About It
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Sex can be an uncomfortable topic of conversation for some, and in some places, an uncomfortable conversation for most. Add in a health consideration, and the conversation almost always stops.
I’ve written in the past about sex and multiple sclerosis (MS) for the National MS Society’s MS Blog, and more recently hosted a webcast with two medical professionals on the topic.
Some Recent Writings on Sex, Aging, and Hypertension
Two pieces of reporting came across my screen in recent weeks, both of which had to do with sexual relations in the context of other health considerations. They got me thinking that it may be time to talk about it again
The first, an opinion piece for Medscape by medical ethicist Arthur L. Caplan, PhD, addressed sex and aging while living in a nursing home. The specific topic was about a woman’s discomfort with the fact that her mother, a consenting adult with mild dementia, was engaging in sexual activity. It brought to light the rather prudish attitudes some have toward sex in our advanced years.
The second was a commentary for Medscape by sexual medicine specialist Pebble Kranz, MD, on a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. In the study, researchers found a significant association between lower sexual frequency and greater mortality (from all causes) in young and middle-aged people with hypertension. The commentator raised the question of whether “pleasure hygiene” (akin to sleep hygiene) might be a topic of consideration.
What Would ‘Pleasure Hygiene’ Comprise?
For those who are wondering, Dr. Kranz suggests that aspects of pleasure hygiene would include:
- Encourage open communication with partner(s) and offer resources to develop communication skills.
- Consider needs for physical and emotional preparation for sexual play: adequate rest, preparing the environment for body fluids, pillows for comfort or aides for positioning, and plenty of lubricant at hand.
- Allow adequate time for sexual play and encourage the ability to adjust or stop and start over — with humor and self-compassion.
- Use sexual aides to enhance pleasure.
Time for More Open and Respectful Conversations
Both pieces of reading point toward the need for a more open and respectful conversation within the healthcare field about sex as it pertains to both health and to aging — or to health and aging for those of us growing older with health conditions.
If doctors are uncomfortable talking with us about our sexual well-being and pleasure, how are we supposed to be comfortable talking with them about those important aspects of our lives?
If sexual activity and pleasure are parts of our lives that help to make us fulfilled and happy, then they should be considered in our treatment plan for living our best lives within the constraints of our disease. And our healthcare team — primary care physicians, neurologists, MS specialists, all of them — must be privy to and comfortable with our thoughts and needs.
Unlike the daughter of our elderly woman looking for romance and fun in the nursing facility where she found herself needing to live, I applaud those who understand their desires for sexual pleasure no matter the difficulties of age and illness.
In fact, if the clinical implications of the above linked study are to be considered — and they are that “increased frequency of sexual activity may have protective effects on overall health and quality of life in patients with hypertension” — then I’m all for increased attention in the doctor’s surgery and in the home (even a nursing home).
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
My book Chef Interrupted is available on Amazon. Follow me on the Life With MS Facebook page, and read more on Life With Multiple Sclerosis.
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