How to Ease a Loved One’s Pain
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As with any chronic illness, living with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) impacts many aspects of a person’s life. The person with the disease experiences physical symptoms, of course, but also may find their lifestyle, mental health, and favorite activities upended.
For these reasons, a close friend or relative of someone living with rheumatoid arthritis can be a great assist for that person.
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“Rheumatoid arthritis is a complicated disease that may affect multiple domains in somebody’s life, work, and activities. There are many ways someone in their life can help,” says Bahar Moghaddam, MD, a rheumatologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.
Follow these tips for helping your loved one deal with the physical and emotional pain of rheumatoid arthritis.
Plan Beneficial Exercises Together
Regular aerobic and strength-training exercises, carefully done, are crucial for people with RA. What’s more, one study found that both types of exercise, when done with help from others, improved aerobic capacity, endurance, and strength in older adults with RA.
“Exercise has been shown to reduce inflammation, condition muscles, and improve cardiovascular health,” Dr. Moghaddam says.
You can encourage a person with RA to exercise, perhaps by joining them for walks or streaming classes in their home, or signing up with them to take classes at a gym or community center.
Certain physical activities are especially helpful in reducing pain from rheumatoid arthritis. Some of these include water exercises and tai chi. These help a person with RA relax, strengthen muscle, and build denser bone without harming the joints.
Join Them in Hand Moves to Reduce Joint Pain
Resistance exercises for the hands are especially beneficial for improving pain, grip strength, and function in someone with RA.
A simple way to do this is to buy the person a soft, small, rubbery ball and encourage them to use it for gentle hand exercises, such as those created by the exercise physiologist and manual therapist Sue Hitzmann.
In one exercise, known as a glide move, the person sits on a chair and places the ball on the table or other hard surface in front of them. Keeping the shoulders relaxed and the palm flat, they place the ball under the lower part of the palm of their right hand and rest the tip of the middle finger on the table. Then the person glides the ball back and forth from left to right, using light to moderate pressure. After a few minutes they switch hands and repeat.
The same ball can also be used to do a self hand massage. The person sits the same way. Keeping the hand relaxed and the fingers straight out, the person rolls the ball under their right hand, gently moving it to all the various parts of the palms (not the fingers). After a few minutes they switch hands and repeat.
Do Yoga or Other Gentle Stretches
Yoga is a helpful exercise for people with RA. It enables the body to stretch and strengthen and is very calming. Some of the best styles of yoga for people with RA include Iyengar, basic hatha, and relaxing restorative practices. It is ideal to find a class where the teacher is trained in how to modify some yoga poses to better protect the joints.
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If you don’t want to do yoga, simple stretches with a friend can be fun and enjoyable. One basic stretch is an ankle and foot flex. Each of you stands next to the back of a chair and lightly holds it with one hand. Extend one leg forward and slightly off the ground, and point the toes of that foot. Continue stretching as you tilt the ankle too. Then reverse the move by flexing the toes followed by the ankle. Repeat four to eight times, then change feet.
Explore Stress-Reduction Activities to Help Support a Loved One With RA
“Stress can worsen inflammation. Relaxation and mindfulness are important for pain management,” Moghaddam says.
A great way to reduce stress together is to attend a regular meditation class, either in person or online. For example, UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center holds a weekly meditation session you can stream anytime.
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Each of you might benefit from a more expansive program, such as the eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programs offered in hospitals and community centers around the country. These programs are expensive and involve a major time commitment — some two and a half hours of class each week plus daily homework assignments — but many graduates, including those with chronic diseases, say it transformed their life.
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Join a Family Member With RA in Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Stress-reduction experts advocate a type of body relaxation known as progressive muscle relaxation. This is something you can do alongside another person. It takes only a few minutes (or you can do it for longer, going more slowly and savoring each move), and it’s effective for stilling the mind and redirecting attention away from pain, according to University of Michigan Health.
Choose a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Lie on your back on a bed or on yoga mats. Begin by tensing your legs (doing either one leg at a time or both together), squeezing as tightly as you comfortably can and then raising the legs, still tense, a few inches. After a few seconds (or up to 30), consciously relax the muscles and let the legs gently lower. Move on to your arms, then buttocks, then abdomen, upper chest, and finally your face and head, first tensing each area and then releasing it.
When you are finished, remain still for several minutes to enjoy the mental and physical relaxation the practice brings. Give yourself time to get up slowly.
Encourage Friends and Family Members With RA to Sleep Well
You may be a night owl or keep erratic sleep hours. But when someone is living with rheumatoid arthritis, it is crucial that they get sufficient and regular sleep. Regular sleep helps reduce pain and fatigue in someone with RA. So don’t call them late at night or ask them to join you at midnight parties. And don’t call early in the morning if you think they may be sleeping.
You can help your friend or loved one develop proper sleep habits. This includes going to bed and getting up at the same time each day; keeping the room cool and comfortable; and avoiding caffeine and bright computer or cellphone screens before bed. Also, if your loved one is taking painkillers, make sure they take them at night to allow for recuperative sleep.
Find Alternative Activities When a Friend With RA Can’t Do the Usual
“Flares can be disabling for someone with rheumatoid arthritis. There may be periods of time when they may not be able to do the things they usually do,” Moghaddam says. When this happens, you can help the person stay upbeat by being understanding, she says.
Also work with them to find alternative activities. If they can’t go dancing or hiking with you, you can still have fun playing board games or taking short walks in a nearby park, or doing any other activities they are able to. What matters is being together and doing something everyone enjoys.
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