Coming to Terms With a Stoma: Fears, Concerns, and Support
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Coming to terms with the possibility of needing a stoma can come with an abundance of fears and emotions for anyone, but it can be especially frightening if you are young.
A stoma is a section of bowel that protrudes through an opening on the abdomen’s skin surface. The poo is then collected in a bag attached to your skin that can be changed and emptied accordingly.
There are different types of stomas: a colostomy is when the large intestine protrudes through the opening in the tummy, and an ileostomy is when the small intestine protrudes.
Many health conditions may require that a stoma be fitted, from cancer to inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), diverticulosis, and other bowel or gynecological conditions.
Common Fears and Concerns About Stomas
Full disclosure: I have only had the personal experience of living with a stoma for three weeks, although as a doctor, I have spoken with many patients who have one. And, since my diagnosis, I’ve spoken frequently with the ostomy community during the writing of my book, Everything You Hoped You’d Never Need to Know About Bowel Cancer.
For me, a stoma was a no brainer. With a rectal cancer diagnosis, it came hand in hand with the mission to try to save my life, and there was little time for deliberation. Stomas may be a permanent or temporary measure. For me, I knew it was temporary, ultimately buying time for my bowel to heal after the cancer had been removed.
But stomas may be formed for other reasons, such as IBD, and they may save your life in a very different way, by giving you the quality of life that had previously been sucked away by chronic bowel issues.
Either way, there are many fears, questions, and challenges both physical and mental that come with having a stoma. Some common fears and concerns include:
- What will I look like? Will people see it through my clothes? No, unless you are wearing see-through clothing. There are clothing companies that produce underwear or swimwear for people with a stoma, but these special designs are not always necessary.
- Can I wear swimwear? Yes.
- Will it leak? It might, especially in the early days, but these occurrences will lessen once your stoma has settled. Always carry a kit with you and spare clothes just in case. You can also change to a different type of bag if leaks happen frequently.
- Will I ever have a sexual relationship? People with stomas can and do have intimate relationships that thrive. If someone doesn’t like the fact that you have a stoma, this is more of a reflection on them than you.
- Can I exercise? Yes, but it should be done gently initially, and take advice from your healthcare professional.
- What can I eat? You will be assigned to a dietitian who can discuss and guide you through this.
- Can I travel? Yes. You just need to be prepared with stoma kits.
These are all normal questions that can be addressed openly and honestly with your doctor, stoma nurse, and support groups.
Mentally, the impact can be massive and can lead to body image issues, low self-esteem, reduced self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and grief for the life you had before the stoma. Please speak to your specialist or family doctor if you are experiencing any of these symptoms.
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