How to Set Goals and Thrive as a Cancer Previvor and Survivor
[ad_1]
As a young medical student, every year as January 1 rolled in, I would eagerly set lofty goals for myself because I knew the importance of healthy habits. Yet, time and time again, by the arrival of February, those goals would quickly fall apart for various reasons — a big upcoming exam, recovering from a cold, or some other unforeseen circumstance. The motivation never seemed to last, and the health goals never translated into the healthy lifestyle I had envisioned.
This only became truer as time went on and I gained more responsibilities as a mother and palliative care physician, leaving very little time for self-care. And as I got older with more people depending on me, I started to adopt the belief that self-care is selfish. And let me tell you, I’ve learned this belief couldn’t be further from the truth.
In 2020, I underwent a preventive bilateral mastectomy and total hysterectomy to radically reduce my genetic risk of breast and ovarian cancer. I experienced a major complication the following day that required emergency surgery, which left me deconditioned and dependent on my husband for several weeks to help me with even the simplest tasks.
For the first time, I experienced a glimpse of what my seriously ill patients felt every day. And that was the moment I made the connection to my “why” (more on that below) — the first time I truly understood that self-care is not selfish, it is my self-preservation.
Getting through some of the toughest times of my life so far and understanding the science of lifestyle and behavior change has taught me the importance of four things when it comes to goal setting: understanding your why, setting SMART goals, embracing accountability, and having a whole lot of grace. These four keys to goal-setting are important not just in the new year but every day, especially if you are in a chaotic season of life as a cancer previvor or survivor.
What Is Your ‘Why’?
Sometimes it’s the greatest pains in our life that can help guide us to our “why.” A life of dependence on my family, even for a few short weeks, showed me exactly what I didn’t want my life to look like, at least as far as what I could control. My why is embodied in a strong physical body, a growth mindset, and my capacity to love myself, my family, my patients, and my community.
Your why must be truly compelling, something you can tap into at any given moment to fuel your energy, particularly on those days when you have no motivation. And trust me, there will be a lot of those!
Some things to reflect on when thinking about your why:
- What is important to me?
- What are my values?
- What brings me joy?
- How do I want to feel in this life?
- What do I need more of in my life?
- What were my life-changing moments?
Once you figure out the answers to some of these questions, setting goals will not only be simple and sustainable, but truly meaningful.
SMART Goals Are the ‘How’
Most people do goal-setting completely wrong. Just as I did in the past, most of us set unrealistic, vague, or inflexible goals, and then we can’t stick to them. This is why I like the SMART framework for goal-setting instead.
Here’s a breakdown of each element and questions you can ask yourself as you are setting goals.
- Specific The goal should be clear and well-defined. “What is the goal? What do I want to accomplish?”
- Measurable What you can measure, you can improve. “How often will I exercise to achieve this?”
- Achievable The goal should be challenging yet realistic. Think about the resources you will need. “Is this goal achievable for me? What will I need to achieve it?”
- Relevant The goal should align with your values and overall vision. “Why is the result important to me? How will my life look if I accomplish this goal?” This really taps into your why.
- Time-bound A deadline or timeline should be set for achieving the goal. “What is my deadline to achieve this goal?”
Accountability Is Underrated
Our brains are programmed to come up with every excuse to let us off the hook when we don’t feel like doing something, especially when life gets hectic. This is why accountability is key to goal setting. Research shows that people are 95 percent more likely to succeed when they have someone to hold them accountable. This means someone who will check in on you to make sure you’re staying on track and support you. It can be a friend, family member, therapist, coach, or even an online community. You can also use apps or trackers to hold yourself accountable.
One of the greatest gifts I gave myself before my preventive surgeries was a strength coach. I specifically chose to work with her because she was also a previvor who had a preventive bilateral mastectomy. This unique connection allowed her to truly understand and support me before, during, and after surgery.
I cannot stress enough the significance of finding an accountability partner who understands what you are going through, especially as a previvor or survivor. Finding others in a similar season of life can make all the difference when it comes to setting and achieving goals.
Acknowledge and Have Grace
Grace is a common theme in a lot of what I share. A new diagnosis of a genetic mutation or life with a chronic illness like cancer can be challenging in many ways. From managing symptoms and treatments to navigating the physical and emotional toll it takes on our everyday lives, there are constant uncertainties that can make setting and achieving goals feel almost impossible at times. It is important to acknowledge in this season that our health can be unpredictable, and our bodies may not always cooperate with our plans. Take it one day at a time. Just don’t give up, friend.
Having been there, I know it can be especially difficult at the beginning of the new year when everyone around you is busy setting new and exciting goals. But hear me loud and clear: Your goal-setting may look different in this season of your life and that is okay. Let your setbacks become your setups; figure out what you need now. This is grace.
And just so you know, research shows that most people who set New Year’s goals tend to give up on them before January is over. So, you and I are actually not alone, despite all that we may have going on!
[ad_2]
