Is Daydreaming Good for You?
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But daydreaming in the positive sense doesn’t come naturally to most people. In fact, in one study, Westgate and her colleagues found that 67 percent of men and a quarter of women would rather give themselves an electric shock than be alone with their thoughts.
That seems to be because thinking about nice things takes work.
“You’re the screenwriter, director, actor, filmmaker, and audience for this entire sort of mental production that’s entirely in your head, and so it’s just really resource intensive,” Westgate says. “It looks outwardly like you’re not doing much, but inwardly you’re doing a lot.”
In another study, she and her colleagues identified ways to make daydreaming easier, including coming up with a few pleasant and meaningful topics you’d like to think about before the opportunity to let your mind wander strikes.
“Instead of having all of those different roles you’re trying to juggle, you’ve already narrowed down the selection of what mental daydreams you might want to play,” Westgate said, adding that these types of daydreams typically involve doing something with other people in the future. “And that makes it easier to focus on actually playing that daydream and watching it and enjoying it.”
But there’s a darker side to daydreaming than it simply being effortful. When someone spends so much time immersed in their own mind that it disrupts their work, hobbies, or relationships, mental health professionals refer to it as “maladaptive daydreaming,” according to the Cleveland Clinic.
“It can be a point where you’d rather stay in your fantasy than be in real life engaging with other people,” Smalls-Mantey says.
This can play out dangerously. For one, maladaptive daydreaming can distract you in moments when you need to be alert, like while driving, Smalls-Mantey notes.
It can also be a frustrating time suck, taking people away from important responsibilities or their own goals. In Bernfeld’s practice, “people struggle to create as much as they want, to remain consistent, and sometimes daydreaming is the barrier,” she says.
And, while tapping into an imaginary world can be a coping tool for trauma survivors facing a trigger, it can also be more of a Band-Aid than a true healing mechanism, Smalls-Mantey says. The behavior can also coincide with mental health conditions like ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and dissociative disorders, she adds.
In these cases, techniques like grounding (making contact with the ground or earth) and journaling can help, Smalls-Maney says. But first you have to recognize the behavior has gone too far or feels out of control.
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“It’s all about awareness: being able to see the difference between the times it’s helping you and it’s hurting you,” Bernfeld says. “Sometimes it’s not that easy to see the difference. Sometimes you want to process it in therapy.”
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