Still Searching for the Sweet Spot of MS
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Baseball players know of the sweet spot on a bat. I’m told that most sporting implements — rackets, clubs, hurleys, hockey sticks — have a point which makes the most effective contact with the ball (or sliotar, or puck), so it’s not just baseball players who know of this elusive best.
The term also refers to optimal points in time, combinations of factors, or the general way of handling a situation. I’m told by bankers that the housing market has a sweet spot — though I’m told by friends looking to buy or sell that it’s always a moving target.
I’ve been searching for the sweet spot of living well with multiple sclerosis (MS) for a long time now, and it sometimes feels like I’ll never find it.
Too Much of This, Too Little of That
I’m tired but can’t sleep the night. I know some meds help some symptoms, but don’t want to take a fistful of tablets every time something niggles at me. I know exercise is good for my overall health (as well as my MS), but fatigue and heat sensitivity make that difficult sometimes.
It takes me longer to do things, and I don’t do them as well. I seem to be in a constant loop of trying to do what I used to do, falling flat, getting frustrated at the whole process, but not wanting to give in to the disease, and then trying to do what I used to do again.
Sound familiar?
There are times when I hit one out of the park. Those times when I think about, prepare for, pace myself, and get done what I want to in an acceptable fashion and without taking 3 times the amount of energy and time than I feel I should. But those days are rare and becoming an endangered species.
‘Sweet Spot’ vs. ‘New Normal’
Some people call it a search for the “new normal.” In a lot of ways, that is what I’m talking about as well, but it’s not just the normal I’m seeking, it’s the optimal: That sweet spot that I used to know by instinct and muscle memory.
I want to swing for the fences with my age cohort. I want to feel the satisfaction of a job well done, completed in time, and on budget, so to speak. I know my life with MS has a sweet spot, because I’ve found it on a number of occasions over these past 22 years — but less and less often as those years turned into decades.
A Shrinking Sweet Spot?
Perhaps, like so many other aspects of life with MS, my sweet spot isn’t just a shifting thing, the way every bat or racket is different, and a player must adjust to that new implement. Maybe my sweet spot is shrinking due to MS.
Or, maybe closer to the point even, I have the same expectation of the results of my effort, even though I’m working with a decreasingly effective tool — this MS-broken body.
Adaptation Seems to Be the Key
Whatever the case, I must adapt. This aging slugger has moved from home runs to base hits and now struggles to lay down a sacrifice bunt. But life with MS is a game of small ball — where you get ’em on, get ’em over, and get ’em in — rather than a long fly ball sort of life. And that’s okay.
It’s going to have to be okay, because that’s the life I live. A life with MS and an ever-shrinking sweet spot.
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
My book Chef Interrupted is available on Amazon. Follow me on the Life With MS Facebook page, and read more on Life With Multiple Sclerosis.
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