What Is Family Therapy?

Here’s what you should know before you start family therapy.

What’s a Family Therapy Session Like?

The structure of a family therapy session depends on the model of treatment used and the needs of the family.

Some therapists will require the entire family to attend a session together, while others will conduct meetings with different combinations of family members, says Cole.

“Most therapists are going to be very interested in the history of the family system and will be looking for dysfunctional patterns that maybe have repeated over generations,” Cole says.

CAMH notes that during a family therapy session, the therapist may encourage family members to:

• Talk about their experiences, hopes, feelings, and goals
• Listen to each other
• Explain their values, needs, and beliefs
• Refrain from blaming each other
• Identify ways that they can work together to make constructive changes
• Talk about any challenges they’re facing
• Support each other as they work through their goals

The role of the therapist is to provide a supportive and nonjudgmental environment for families, without taking sides, per Cleveland Clinic. “Therapists aren’t there to tell you all the things you’re doing wrong or to cast judgment,” says Eddy. “The therapist should be focused on your goals and helping you improve whatever aspect of your life you want to.”

A typical therapy session happens once a week for about 45 to 50 minutes, per the American Psychiatric Association. Therapists may give homework assignments in between meetings so family members can practice new skills and ways of relating to one another. The number of therapy sessions each family needs varies, with the average being about 12 sessions, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).

How to Find a Family Therapist

Choosing the right therapist is key for a successful outcome. “It’s important that the family connects well with the therapist,” notes Eddy. “Find a therapist who fits well with your family and who your family trusts.”

You also may want to ask your doctor or friends for referrals or recommendations. The AAMFT and Psychology Today also provide directories for locating qualified family therapists.

“Most states have a specific license for marriage and family therapists, and those states provide lists of providers who are in good standing. These provider lists are available on the internet,” adds Cole.

Cost may be a deciding factor when choosing a therapist. Check with your insurance company to see if they cover family therapy, and if so, which in-network providers are in your plan. Without insurance, family therapy can run anywhere from $80 to $200 or more per session, depending on the therapist’s qualifications, Eddy says.

It could also help to check out counseling programs at local universities, Eddy suggests. Students in master’s programs who are supervised by licensed therapists and professors often conduct the therapy sessions at these clinics.

“These programs are usually open to the general public and run on a sliding scale, making them more affordable for most families,” he says. “The quality is very high, and you often end up having more eyes on the case, which is a great perk.”

A student therapist may charge about $10 to $40 a session, which is considerably less than the rates of a licensed therapist, Eddy says.

How to Prepare for a Family Therapy Session

Prior to starting therapy, it’s important for family members to know what they’d like to get out of family therapy, says Eddy. “What is each family member hoping to improve? Is each person willing to put in the work to help things improve?”

It might be helpful to write down questions or issues each person wants to discuss ahead of time, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Family members who don’t get along may also want to carefully think about what they will say to each other when given the opportunity, per NAMI. Additionally, parents can help prepare children for the session by explaining why they are attending.

Who Shouldn’t Try Family Therapy?

Although most people can benefit, family therapy may not be appropriate in an abusive environment, where opening up in a session might increase the potential for abuse within the family, notes Cole.

Family therapy may not be effective for people who are not open and honest with their therapist, won’t commit to making positive changes, won’t stick to their agreed-upon treatment plan, or refuse to truly commit to therapy or complete homework assignments, according to Cleveland Clinic.